The Sunday Update on Monday

Forgot to post yesterday!

Well, there was nothing to post. Didn't weigh in, totally spaced it. I'll try to remember to do it tomorrow before I've had coffee and oatmeal with banana. =)

Well, last week sucked my ass so hopefully this week will be better. I made the decision to work 9a-6p today so that solved my being late problem. .....and it is GORGEOUS outside this morning. It's actually cool in here (we have the windows open). LOVE it!!!!! C'mon fall! Tee hee!

Still deciding that to do about the trainer position that will open soon. I think I want to apply for it. There really isn't any reason not to.....just leaving the comfort zone is always hard.

Oh, BTW, girls night wasn't so bad! I decided to wear some capris and a nice shirt and I'm SO glad I did. I was comfortable all night! Didn't like the pictures only because of the way I look, but other than that, they turned out great! The girls are all so photogenic! Yeah, had fun....glad I decided to pull my head out of my ass and go. =)

So, there's the "Sunday" update! See ya!

This is hard.

I usually don't pour my heart out on here....but that's what a blog's for, right?

I cried myself to sleep last night. Tonight is Sex In the City style girls' night out......where us girls get together, dress up, get our pictures taken, eat great food and enjoy each other's company. Yeah........not looking forward to being the fattest one there tonight. I'm so humiliated. Is there a stronger word that humiliated? If there is, that's what I am.

I did buy a dress at Ross that fits, but after trying it on again last night, I just realized again how pregnant and bloated I look. Oh, by the way, I'M NOT PREGNANT.

I'm having an extreme confidence issue right now. I'm working out and eating better than I used to, yet I'm still as fat as ever. It really doesn't seem like anything is helping and the situation I'm in right now is totally 100% my fault. I let myself get this way. I used to be skinny. I used to have all the confidence in the world (a little too much at times). I climbed Independence Monument twice for God's sake! Why? WHY?!?!?!?!?

Is this ever going to get easier? Am I ever going to be able to climb the Rustler's hill without feeling like I'm going to die? Am I ever going to be able to shop for clothes in the "regular" section again instead of the plus size section?

All that being said, I'm going tonight. I'm putting on that stupid dress, doing my hair and makeup and I'm going to pretend I'm just as hot and skinny as the rest of my friends. Hubbs made a good point this morning.....just because they're skinnier than me doesn't mean they don't support me. .....and they do. Thank God. That's the only reason I'm able to gather the courage to go tonight. Thank you friends. I know you won't judge. I'm just having my own issues right now. It'll get better, right? This too shall pass? It gets worse before it gets better?

The Tuesday Update?

I wanna post today so I don't lose track of my workouts this week......

Sat - Turbo Jam cardio party

Sun - 1st MTB ride of the year!!!!! --- Rustler's Loop

Mon - nada

Tues - Rustler's again....will probably ride this a few more times 'till I get back in the groove

The ride kicked my ASS today! Whew! However, I rode really well.....I did the slickrock switchback and got up two things I don't usually do. Woo hoo!!!!! Plus, my recovery is quicker than I thought it would be. So, fit club is definitely helping! I just wish I would have worked harder on my squats. My quads are whimpy! Soooo.....lots more riding and cross-training before we go to Keystone. I can't even stand up on my pedals after doing a hill. NOT good. Especially since up at Keystone, you spend all day standing up hovering over your back tire. =) Ooooo, that made me excited! I can't wait to go now! Yay!

The rest of the week will look like this:

Wed - need to go grocery shopping and do some laundry.....maybe the 20 min Turbo Jam video? Maybe a walk? Maybe......nothing? Tee hee!

Thurs - ride again. I'll probably do Rustler's again. Hubbs wants to do Pet-e-kes. Ugh....maybe next week.

Fri - girls' night! Woo hoo! I decided I'm not gonna drink. Getting dehydrated will not help matters much.....I'll be the DD girls!

Sat - RIDE! Horsethief? Maybe. Maybe I'll just do good 'ole Rustler's while Hubbs is at work.....I love Rustler's.....it kicks my ass cuz there's hills and it gets me used to the technical stuff cuz there's just a little bit of that stuff. The rest is just fun! That, and it's the only trail I feel confident enough to go by myself. =)

Ok, I'm outty. Gotta take a shower and hit the hay. Goodnight Bloggers!

P.S. Oh yeah.......I don't remember if I blogged about this....but that job I applied for? The promotion with no outside customer contact? They offered it to my friend. =( I am SO bummed. I had a little cry right before we left for our ride and it made me feel a little better. Hubbs also made me feel better by saying that there will be other jobs (which is true) and that he thinks I'm smart. =) I'll find out why I didn't get it when it's official. My friend just told me in confidence....I haven't heard anything from HR or the claims supervisor. So, bummer. She hasn't accepted yet, but I'm sure she will. It's a raise, for God's sake! Well, I'll just have to work harder and get and even better promotion next time!

The Sunday Update

So, I worked out yesterday all by myself! NSV! It definitely wasn't as motivating doing it by myself, but I definitely got a workout! I did Turbo Jam cardio party. .....Hubbs and I then proceeded to eat an assload of homemade nachos that were SO good. Well, at least I worked out.

=P-----

So, I weighed in this morning. The number on the scale is pretty much not budging. But, my waist size has gone down 3 inches since July 19th! That's more important to me. However, I would like to get the weight down so I can stop worry about breaking lawn chairs. Not that I have yet, but I'm always afraid.

I've also noticed a huge difference in my energy level. It took like three weeks, but I'm finally getting the energy boost that regular exercise provides.

My other goal of becoming a non-whale for girls' night on Aug 14th didn't come to fruition either. *sigh* So, I'm growing out my fingernails so at least I'll have good nails and hair. =) I have NO clue what I'm going to wear. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to go shopping. Ugh.

So, this morning's weigh in is full of celebrations and let downs. It's confusing to my poor little emotional self! I'm making progress, but because I continue to eat like a starving Ethiopian at a Vegas Buffet, the progress is s-l-o-w. It vastly improved this week as I did go shopping, but I'm still eating a large amount (even though the food is healthier) and I usually have more than one cheat day. I'd like to get it down to one cheat meal a week. The stupid work potlucks are murder on the diet.......

.....of course, it doesn't help that I have, like, zero willpower. WTF???

I think I'm going on a MTB ride tonight. This will be the first one this year. I'm afraid. I'm drinking tons of water today so I'll be nice and hydrated.....but still.....going up the Rustler's Hill is going to suck! But I WILL not walk. I don't care how many breaks I have to take.

Ok, the kitchen clutter is calling. Sorry for the haphazard post, but the thoughts were just pouring out.

P.S. Jude Law is my new "boyfriend". GAWD, he's hot! Sorry, Dane....I still think you're hot too. =)

This Week's Workouts

Mon - Turbo Jam

Tues - nada

Wed - nada

Thurs - Janae ass-kicking. =)

Fri - nada

Workouts last week

Shoot....I waited to long to post this.....um.................I can't remember a damn one!

I do know one night KT and I did 2, 10min kickboxing videos. They were hard! Holy cow!

Tonight is my favorite fit club night.....turbo jam! I'm gonna warm up with learn and burn. Woo hoo! I wonder if I can get a load of laundry done before I go!

See ya!

I'm avoiding the scale today.....didn't workout as much and ate way worse. I know there's a gain there, I don't need to see it on the scale. It will only discourage me.

On a happy note......Turbo Jam got here on Friday!!!!!! I'm SO doing Learn & Burn today! Yay!