Censorship Rears Its Ugly Head

Again with the "...can't post what I really wanna say on Facebook."

Bleh.

What will my friends think of me?

What if they don't like my post?

What if they get offended?

On My Way!!!

So, according to the scale this morning, I've lost 23 pounds! I totally did not even realize!!!!

Yesssssssssssssssssssss!

Inspired by a friend, I'm writing a random list of updates:

-We haven't put up our Christmas Tree and don't know if we even will. Just not into it this year.
-I am, however starting to feel the Christmas spirit and want to make some cookies!
-...which leads perfectly to my next point: almost done with my second Max Pack. I'm finding that I have to force myself to eat. It's weird. I think I'm just totally sick of my food choices. I'm also stuck at this weight....gonna need to step up the intensity if I wanna get that scale to move again.
-Still feeling weird about life....wish I had time to just really take a step back, evaluate, and figure this out...it just doesn't make sense to me why I feel so "off." Did turning 30 finally hit me a year and a half later? Am I really just having an identity crisis and this will all pass? Can this shit hurry and sort itself out already?!?!

Feelin' the Shift

So.....we're jus chillin' on a Sunday and while I'm cooking myself some eggs, Steve just blurts out that he feels a change coming. I thought he meant in the show we were watching on Netflix. But he meant in life. Like there's a shift coming. That is so weird that he said that all the while I'm feeling lost--like I'm on the wrong path.

I asked him if the shift was going to a good place or a bad place. He said he didnt know, just that it's headed to a different place! Wow, glad to know it's not just me, man.

Funky

Well, I'm feeling a little better since I wrote that last post, but still in a little funk. Steve is too. I think we're just ready for change. We want to better ourselves and have fun! We just got in a rut....which is very possible seeing as how we've been together for 11 1/2 years! Wow. It has FLOWN by!

Anyway, still searching, still contemplating, still experimenting.

I can tell you one thing: LOVE the new eating habits! They are a pain in the ass, but I feel SOOOOO much better when I eat right! Started my new Max Pack on Wed the 1st. Made the mistake of trying to start it without going grocery shopping first. It's been a struggle! Also, on Wed, it was my FIL's b-day and they wanted to go to Dragon Wall Buffet of all places. Well, I got there and the salad bar looked plastic and old and stale, so I braved it with the other food. BIG mistake. I got so sick. Not just, "I'm so full I'm gonna be sick," but "My body is revolting against me for ingesting 52,000 chemicals and fake food," kind of thing. Gross. I went home and made myself puke some of it up. BTW, I could never be bulimic! It was actually kind of hard to make myself throw up. LOL ....and I broke all sorts of capilaries in my face and broke a blood vessle in my tonsils. Fun times. Moral of the story: NEVER eating there again. NEVER. I will just have to politely refusing. I'll play the allergy card or somethin'. ANYWAY, so yeah....stuck at that 11 lb weight loss and I really wanna make another 10 by Christmas. I see the results, I feel the results and I can feel my old self coming back! Sweeet......

.....I think that has a lot to do with my "feeling lost" issue. This fat person I've become is so not me. She has VERY low self esteem. I hate her....and she's leaving and I love it!!!!!!!

In other news, I finished Jitterbug Perfume!!! Oh. My. God! ....you know what, it deserves it's own post...

So yeah. Wanted to give a little update....there's not really an update. Ha!